My journey really began at age 26, when I finally decided to divorce my then husband due to mental instability and adultery. It wasn't until D-Day (this meaning Divorce Day), that I really hadn't lived life at that point. At 21, no one really is truly ready for marriage. I longed for a family, and so I decided after 9 months of knowing him, to get married. Through that time I went through a lot of hell. Yes, HELL. He was always distracted somehow, and I just thought well that is part of his personality. Our first major fight he went straight to his parents, and that is the day our marriage really was over. I will keep everything that did happen during the marriage to a bare minimum, in part because I really do not like looking back, but I realize it is a part of my healing process even now, 3 years later. It was literally ME vs THEM, which the THEM included my husband. I fought so hard to save my marriage that I ended up having a mental break down of sorts, and have since been diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. With my faith, family and friends, I have learned to forgive the man I was married to. Forgiveness is not over night by all means. It took a couple of years and my relationship with God to really say "Ron, I forgive you for everything that had happened in the past." Forgiveness is extremely hard, especially what I was put through. I don't blame HIM for my mental issues, I blame the situation. Besides, I have grown as a person since then, and I am exactly where God intended me to be.
I went back to school, became a Medical Assistant, had my son and now enrolling in Nursing school. All because God has a plan for me, just as he has a plan for all of us. God will not give us things we can not handle. We must learn from him, and forgive those who trespass against us. As a Christian, I firmly believe that all of the human race need to forgive, and love each other. There is too much hate in this world, and folks, life is just too short! There is too much hate anymore. Too many murders and suicides. What has happened to us? Where is the love? Jesus died for us on the cross for our sins, have we forsaken him?
I am not perfect. I am a divorced, mother who had a child out of wedlock, but guess what? GOD blessed me. I don't feel like a failure anymore because this was supposed to happen. This was his plan for me. My son, he is my reward, my gift from God. Being a mother is what I had longed for when I was married, but was unsuccessful at carrying a child to term. My first child was a miscarriage and she is my angel in heaven. My son, he is my blessing, my earth angel. You see, God has a plan.
I hope that you will follow me on my journey through Faith, Family, Weight Loss and Motherhood by reading this blog. God bless, and love one another.
Happy Readings :)
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